Jenna is starting another round of New Moms Support Groups in Manhattan and Brooklyn this week. Join us.
A.K.A. - Friends, please.
I mean, I had a million friends. . . a few very close ones, too when I had my first baby. I thought my new baby would just fit right into the folds of my life. After all, we waited until we actually had built some kind of life before we had our baby.
My best friend at the time, childless, couldn't wait to meet the baby. Our spontaneous mid-week lunches would now have an adorable addition and my dear friend instantly achieved Uncle status. I had visions of how he would be like a second "cool" father to my son.
But the first time he came over and I had to change a diaper, he said "wow!" and went to get a snack.
And in that same visit when I had to feed the baby, I noticed his eyes looking anywhere else they possibly could.
And when I told him my birth story he said it sounded like the most disgusting thing he had ever heard. But he was happy for me.
And I found pretty quickly that the recent calls saved in my phone were to my new mom friend, the one I met in my Bradley class. We didn't talk too much in class but she seemed like someone I would like. And in our last class, we discovered our maternity leaves were both about to begin the very next day. We made a date.
We went shopping for nursing bras together, had lunch, cookies at Levain (My first time! There was no line back then.) and confessed our secret baby names to each other. Neither of us knew what we were having and we hadn't told anyone what we might name them.
We had nothing else in common in terms of our backgrounds or careers. We had no common friends. I don't know any other way I would have met her.
But we kept calling each other.
She had her baby, told me what it was like. I waited forever and finally had mine. Our husbands became friends. Also, nothing in common. Breastfeeding, sleep, solids, pumping, potty training - our boys grew up together. And now our girls do too. We were at each others' births for the girls.
We've discovered we all like the beach. We have everything in common.
With all I've got!
About the Author:
Tanya Wills is a graduate of the midwifery program at Yale School of Nursing, where she received her Master of Science in Nursing and also earned her R.N. (Registered Nurse).